The Grieving Man

We’re a hospice. We know a little something about grief and how to cope with the loss of a loved one. So, it’s no surprise to us when we see the grieving process of men, in particular. The attitudes of men in the grips of the grieving stage usually differ than those of women. Generally, men are used to being the protector, in charge of their lives, and having autonomy over what happens. It is why they can find themselves unmoored when they suddenly find themselves in a very vulnerable position. Some men feel like they don’t want to allow themselves to cry, leading some of their loved ones to believe they are uncaring. It’s important for us to realize that men in general may remain more stoic, but are definitely feeling all that a loss entails. It is our job as supportive individuals to 1) remain close and available; 2) realize that everyone, regardless of gender, grieves in different ways and that is valid, and 3) just listen. It’s amazing how much you can help a loved one in their bereavement by simply listening. It’s truly a gift.

A gentleman who attends one of the grief support groups found himself grieving the loss of his wife, and he came upon the attitude of the “stoic grieving man”, and it wasn’t a good fit for him. He needed an outlet for his grief, so he wrote two beautiful poems and is generously sharing them with our readers. He wants other men to know that he openly grieves his loss, and that it is okay to talk about it. That men don’t need to keep their pain to themselves. Thank you Louie for sharing your experience with us.